Living with someone who has a TBI may not be the easiest. You see the same person that you knew before the life changing event, but they are not the same person or will ever be that same person. How do you move forward with that?
It's like the picture at the top, same body of water, but one side is very choppy & rough & the other is claim & peaceful. The only thing that is making it different is a breaker wall. That is a poor example of what life is like with living with a person with a TBI. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing anyone here. Just sharing what life is like.
At times you can say it is like being married to a stranger. After 20 years of marriage & that is not including the time dating, then one day everything changes as you know it. How do you move forward in a relationship?
In everyday life, I as the spouse of a TBI have the same responsibilities as before the event that is not including the load I picked up after the event. You might be thinking, but isn't that what marriage is? You help each other out in tough times. Yes, you do. It's not about helping each other through the tough times. When the person you grew to know know over the years, now has changed on the inside how do you move forward? Changed even with their likes & dislikes of food. Not saying run for the hills.
After a TBI it can change the goals & dreams you both shared & looked forward to before the TBI. It may take some time to dream new dreams & goals. During the time of laying down the old dreams & goals can be very painful. Having a good support group around you will help. How do you move forward?
Moving forward is not easy. You pick to move forward with the person everyday. You make the choice to fight to stay together. It could have been very easy to run for the hills at times, but easy is not always what you want in the end. Having a good support group helps.
Having a good support group is not just family & friends. But having someone who has walked & is walking through the same stuff you are dealing with. I go with my husband to his group therapy every week. I have learned more about TBI there than on the internet, books or doctors. Getting around people & talking about what is going on, what works & what does not work helps. Knowing you are not by yourself helps.
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