This is part 2 from the first post on January 29, 2017.
How to keep the family moving forward when the Dad has the TBI. It could not have been done without God, family & friends coming around us. Yeah, there were times when I wanted to just quite. But the humor of it, there is no just quite. There is just do it.
Each day is different. You never know how the day will go. Being flexible helps. Between doctor visit trying to find out what is going & why events keep happening to trying to see what he can still do & for how long. That can even change from day to day what he can do. There is so much the medical teams do not know about the brain & how it works. It's still a guessing game & learning area for them.
Schedules have to be flexible. That makes making plans very interesting. A lot of last minute cancelling happens, either it was from a "bad" day or just forgot. Or we just get to a place & have to leave right away from over stimulation.
We are finding that TBI's are similar to Autism. I know little confusing with that statement. How could that be? We are finding that with the TBI there is over stimulation & what causes it & what happens when over stimulation happens, it has similar out comes. The cooping methods are similar.
Knowing the facts of TBI's does not move you forward. It's what are you doing to try to move forward with what you are dealing with. Do you have a schedule/ To Do List for the day? Do you have a plan for "bad" days? These are things that has helped us. Also working as a family unit & everyone pulling together as a team to get through each day helps.
When dad has the TBI & no longer can do the tasks like before, its stressful until you find out who else in the family or friends are willing to step up & fill in. That helps make a rough times smoother.
When is it time to help & when is it time to step back & have dad do anything? That is a fine line & can change from day to day. You don't want to baby a grown man but you also don't want to leave him in the dark if he needs help. Communication with each other helps with that. But sometimes the person with the TBI remembers that they use to be able to do something with no problems & is now having problems or just can not remember how to do it. That can be very hard on the person to coop with. They may be caught up in it & forget to stop & ask for help. That can cause for emotional out bursts that can catch you off guard.
What to do when emotional out bursts happen? Remain at peace & give the other person grace. Talk nicely to them. Ask are you ok? Sometimes they are unaware that they just snapped. Asking if you can help with anything can be a double edge sword. They need to be able to regroup. Helping them find the pattern that lead up to the out burst will help & having a plan on what to do.
My husband has have great help with O.T., Speech therapy, Vision Therapy & Physical Therapy plus TBI support group. The TBI support group has helped me understand more about TBI's & how it effects each person who has it. It has help me understand why my husband does some of the things he does & what also to keep my eyes open for. My husband also has learned of what works for other TBI survivors & what he can try.
The wandering has kept us on our toes. That has been it's own treat. When at the stores trying to shop, stop to look at one thing for a second & he is gone in a flash. Now you must go get him. At least he is over 6Ft tall. It makes it easier to find.
After a TBI happens to a person, it will change them. Sometimes to the other people in their lives they can come across as a completely different person. That can be hard to deal with. Your eyes are telling you that it is the same person but they now might not like the same things or act the same. Now you are having to start a new relationship with them.
Comparing the person with the TBI to the one before the TBI is not fruitful. They are different. They are dealing with that a lot with themselves. It is hard to adjust to the new person when you still see the old person. Take one day at a time.
Donations are not tax deductible.
No comments:
Post a Comment