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Sunday, March 26, 2017
Sunday, March 19, 2017
Sunday, March 12, 2017
Miscarriage
After the birth of our second in 2003, we did want to try for more. Years past with no success. Then in 2006 my hubby had cancer. Because of the treatment for the cancer there was a chance that we may not be able to have anymore kids. So we put it all in Gods hands.
So fast forwarding to August 2012, I started to notice changes in my body, I felt exhausted & I could not get enough food. Eating and sleeping is all I did. But all the pregnancy test came back negative. On September 3rd we finally had a positive test!!!! It was Labor Day! We were so happy!! Much rejoicing!! The next day when my doctor office open, I called to set up an appointment to get the official test. So I was scheduled that Friday the 7th at 11am. I had a week to think of all my questions and get all the info from past pregnancies together.
Friday, September 7th at 2:30am, I woke up not feeling right. I ran to the bathroom, I started spotting. I took a deep breath, said a quick prayer and went to the computer and start to google. Of course it said call your doctor right away & not to panic. I was covered, I had an appointment later that morning & I was not panicking. I went and woke Dave up and gave him a heads up. We prayed. We gave the whole thing over to God. We rejoiced that we could get pregnant!!! We now know we can now!!!!
We got the kids up, got our morning rolling and took Dave to work, so I had the car for my appointment. Went to a friends house who was pregnant with twins, to hang out before my appointment. I told her what was going on. She came with me to the appointment. We were both exhausted & starving. We both had bottles of water and food. The appointment took forever. The test came back pregnant. I talked with the doctor about everything.
I was told to go home, relax start bed rest, if things start to get worst go to the ER. I could be having a miscarriage. Only time will tell. BED REST!!!!! I wanted to cry. I do not do bed rest well. My friend and I went to the Subway at Walmart to eat, I called Dave while there.I had some quick shopping to do. Dave said, to eat go back to my friends house take it easy & we will take it one step at time.
I went to pick up Dave up from his work to carry on with our evening. His dad & mom were taking the kids for the night. We had dinner there and then about the pregnancy but not about the possibility for the miscarriage. We all celebrated the pregnancy. No matter how long the pregnancy would last we were going to celebrate.
Later that night when we got home, I felt awful. I called the after hours number for the doctors. They gave me some warning signs when to head in to ER. It was around 10pm. I went to lay down to see if I felt any better. By the time I got to the side of my bed, I felt a gush. I ran to the bathroom. Yip, things got worst. I grabbed my purse & shoes & yelled to Dave as I was coming down the hall, he had to take me in NOW!!!
On the way in, we called family & friends to have them start praying. Called the after hours number again to let them know. The pain in my side was getting worst as each minute past. We get to the ER. They get me in to a room right away! The nurses and doctor were in & out. My blood pressure was 169 over another not so good number and I was in so much pain I could not follow anything they were saying. I kept looking at Dave to see how he would react to see how bad things were. They doctor said I was having an ectopic pregnancy. After he left, Dave asked me,"Have you been praying?" I looked at him, in pain, and said, not much. Only thing I could say, was Help me!! He jumped up & laid his hands on my side & prayed, "God remove the baby from her tube, place the baby somewhere else. Repair the damage from this. In Jesus name," I would like to say the pain stopped completely & this was the end of the story. But it was not.
One of the times the doctor came in he was trying to see if I was staying there or if they were going to move me to the main hospital about an hour away. I was not feeling any better. They prep me for surgery just in case and started pain relief. Pain relief helped. I only had a little pain. I was feeling awful at this point. They decide that I need to go to the main hospital an hour away. The doctor asked me," if I want to go in the ambulance or have Dave drive me?" I did not want to go in the ambulance, I never went in one & I don't care to start now. But I could not sit for an hour, the pain was to much. The doctor said,"It is settled, I will call an ambulance."
In the ambulance I had a wonderful person in there with me. She keep asking if I was in pain. At that time it was a little bit. I remember that and thinking I had to just close my eyes to help me feel better. Next I hear,"Michelle, open your eyes & stay with me Honey!" I kept my eyes opened and we talked. Before I know it we were there. Dave had to drive the car in to town. So we beat him there. As soon as they got me in my room, I started to ask were Dave was. They told me as soon as he got there they will get him in there. More nurses & doctors to meet & they would group & talk with each other.
Dave gets there & gets in to the room. They get him up to speed. They want to get an ultra sound to get a full picture of what is going on. There was more people in & out, then I was off for an ultra sound. They scanned my belly. They said they could not find the baby, there is good blood flow to my tube and they could see the housing for the baby. They said I may not be as long as I thought. And we would have to check again in a week. I was to go home, get in bed & stay there. Come back if anything gets worst, follow up with my doctor on Monday. And to get weekly blood test to check my hormone levels.
So I called my doctor office. I would get regular ultra sounds to try to see if they could find the baby & to see where was the baby. Plus the blood work to watch my hormone levels. At one of my doctor visits, they offered to do surgery to end the pregnancy. I got a gut NO. I heard what the doctors were saying. But my gut said NO really loud. I told them no. That was no for me. I was going to give my body a chance to correct this. So they watched me close.
The kids were still at my in-laws. They came home on Monday. Dave told the kids what was going on. They were sad. They both were so happy about the new baby coming. As a family we leaned on God to help us through. The kids pulled their weight around the house. They pitched in everywhere. My mother-in-law had a gut feeling to celebrate Dave's birthday early in September instead of waiting for October. I agreed with it. We were not sure why, but it was a good idea.
Some of you might be wondering where was her family during this. I'll tell ya, they were 4 hours away on the other side of the phone praying for us. My mom wishes she could of come up to help. She is very sweet. But Dave & the kids had the house stuff under control & I slept most of the time. The best thing anyone could do was pray.
September 27th, I passed the housing for the baby. Then my hormone levels dropped. The doctors now were saying the pregnancy was officially over. I was to rest more & to try to get back in to normal as my body would let me. I was so exhausted & sore. I was ready to move on September 8th emotionally. But the physical my body was still in deep recovery. Getting up to walk down my hall to get a cup of coffee, I had to take a nap after. It was a slow road to recovery. We were working on getting back to normal. Still standing in rejoicing that we we able to get pregnant!!
October 2nd, Dave was at the house of Prayer playing his bass. Everything would be ok, I told him. So he went. As the evening went on, I was feeling rough. Not sure way. I took a shower thinking it would help. After a quick shower, I had problems getting out of the shower. CRAP!!!!!! I'm not doing good. I need to get out of the bathroom & call Dave. Lord please let the phone ring & he hears it!! It did!!! AND He did!!!! I told him to come home now, I need to go to the hospital, something is wrong & I'm not feeling good. He rushed home, it gave me time to get the kids up to speed on what is going on.
Back to ER I went. Then they sent me over to the main hospital. Ran more test & ultra sounds. They checked me in to the hospital about 3am. I sent Dave to his parents to sleep. I told him he had to be back at 7am. LOLOL I was checked on every couple of hours. Did not get much sleep. Last time I ate was at lunch the day before. I was unable to eat till the doctor knew what was going on with me & what they were going to do.
My hormones had plateau. My body want to start another pregnancy. Not good. No wonder the weird stuff was happening. In the morning when the nurse was helping me to the bathroom, she said to me,"Most women die from this." But I was getting up out of the bed. Death was not an option. They came in to talk to me about my choice. I pretty much had to use methotrexate to wipe out everything. Not just the pregnancy hormones but everything in me. My recovery time just got bumped out to a long slow year. I had to rebuild all the good stuff in my body. I slept a lot.
I was let out of the hospital later that day. I went home to bed. I was exhausted. I had a few more weeks of blood tests to make sure my hormones went back to zero. I had check ups to see how I was doing. My follow ups had to be with specialist. I can still get pregnant but have a 25% chance of another ectopic pregnancy. I pray that I will never have one again & that other women will never go through it.
Even now when I sit down and write this out & look over the reports and notes, it does not seem really. But I lived it. I can see God through the whole thing, right there with me. AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Psalm 62:1-2;5-8 NIV
For the director of music. For Jeduthun. A psalm of David.
1 Truly my soul finds rest in God;my salvation comes from him.
2 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
6 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
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Sunday, March 5, 2017
TBI Part 2
This is part 2 from the first post on January 29, 2017.
How to keep the family moving forward when the Dad has the TBI. It could not have been done without God, family & friends coming around us. Yeah, there were times when I wanted to just quite. But the humor of it, there is no just quite. There is just do it.
Each day is different. You never know how the day will go. Being flexible helps. Between doctor visit trying to find out what is going & why events keep happening to trying to see what he can still do & for how long. That can even change from day to day what he can do. There is so much the medical teams do not know about the brain & how it works. It's still a guessing game & learning area for them.
Schedules have to be flexible. That makes making plans very interesting. A lot of last minute cancelling happens, either it was from a "bad" day or just forgot. Or we just get to a place & have to leave right away from over stimulation.
We are finding that TBI's are similar to Autism. I know little confusing with that statement. How could that be? We are finding that with the TBI there is over stimulation & what causes it & what happens when over stimulation happens, it has similar out comes. The cooping methods are similar.
Knowing the facts of TBI's does not move you forward. It's what are you doing to try to move forward with what you are dealing with. Do you have a schedule/ To Do List for the day? Do you have a plan for "bad" days? These are things that has helped us. Also working as a family unit & everyone pulling together as a team to get through each day helps.
When dad has the TBI & no longer can do the tasks like before, its stressful until you find out who else in the family or friends are willing to step up & fill in. That helps make a rough times smoother.
When is it time to help & when is it time to step back & have dad do anything? That is a fine line & can change from day to day. You don't want to baby a grown man but you also don't want to leave him in the dark if he needs help. Communication with each other helps with that. But sometimes the person with the TBI remembers that they use to be able to do something with no problems & is now having problems or just can not remember how to do it. That can be very hard on the person to coop with. They may be caught up in it & forget to stop & ask for help. That can cause for emotional out bursts that can catch you off guard.
What to do when emotional out bursts happen? Remain at peace & give the other person grace. Talk nicely to them. Ask are you ok? Sometimes they are unaware that they just snapped. Asking if you can help with anything can be a double edge sword. They need to be able to regroup. Helping them find the pattern that lead up to the out burst will help & having a plan on what to do.
My husband has have great help with O.T., Speech therapy, Vision Therapy & Physical Therapy plus TBI support group. The TBI support group has helped me understand more about TBI's & how it effects each person who has it. It has help me understand why my husband does some of the things he does & what also to keep my eyes open for. My husband also has learned of what works for other TBI survivors & what he can try.
The wandering has kept us on our toes. That has been it's own treat. When at the stores trying to shop, stop to look at one thing for a second & he is gone in a flash. Now you must go get him. At least he is over 6Ft tall. It makes it easier to find.
After a TBI happens to a person, it will change them. Sometimes to the other people in their lives they can come across as a completely different person. That can be hard to deal with. Your eyes are telling you that it is the same person but they now might not like the same things or act the same. Now you are having to start a new relationship with them.
Comparing the person with the TBI to the one before the TBI is not fruitful. They are different. They are dealing with that a lot with themselves. It is hard to adjust to the new person when you still see the old person. Take one day at a time.
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